Bribery, reward system, incentive program… a rose by any other name…
I never realized how much of my enlightened, organic, natural and intuitive parenting would come down to negotiation. Sometimes serious crisis level negotiations. And I never, ever thought that I would not be the one running the board room.
I feel this needs to change.
I’ve made mistakes.
I was so smart before I had a child. Brilliant, really.
I did not expect this child. I couldn’t have imagined her and I have a really good imagination. She is beyond my wildest hopes and expectations. I’m excited to have met her and can’t wait to see what she’ll do and who she’ll grow into.
She refuses to accept any definition of reality I put forth when it doesn’t suit her agenda of the moment. This morning I had to sooth and comfort her and try to convince her that I could not, in fact, “make it be night time again.” She says, “Just do it!!!!!”
I tried to do what her new teacher, Ms. Angela, suggested and not try and reason with her 4 year old mind. I said, “We’re not talking about this anymore.” Ms. Angela assured me that almost every time she’s tried this, the child sighs in relief as if freed from the bonds of their own absurdity and says, “okay.”
My child said, “YES WE ARE!”
Now, to wander right into my point… The only way I can get my little control freak to poop instead of holding it in for days and days and suffering mightily the whole time, is to tell her she will get her favorite dark chocolate covered blueberries when she finishes.
Today it worked so well it was great. She just did it and said, “Mom, where’s my chocolate?” Unsaid, “here’s my load.”
This pooping issue is keeping her from being out of diapers and she’s over 4. She can do everything else, but until she can poop when she needs to, she won’t be able to go on the potty.
I feel strongly that getting the flow going with the diaper on will solve the whole thing.
One advantage to late potty training, by the way, is that she’s so old and so knowledgeable and coordinated, etc, that there will be no real work for me. She’s ready to empty the little potty or handle the big one. She’s ready to know when she needs to go. It just seems easier in some ways.
That’s what I’m clinging to, anyway.
I have SO much more to say about her pooping issues. But this is all I’ll share for today.
These blueberries are from Costco and although I don’t consider them “healthy”, they don’t seem too bad. She will do almost anything for them. I don’t know why. There’s dark chocolate and acai berries (whatever that means.) And sugar, of course. I got them at first because my husband likes them and I’m not tempted by dark chocolate, so I can resist. Chocolate that I can resist? A miracle.
Something that inspires my daughter to let go of control for even a moment? A freaking miracle.